Kiwisense offers caring, practical marriage and relationship counselling in the Waikato from its Matamata location. Couples generally know there must be more for their relationship than what they are currently experiencing, but often don't know what it is, or how to get help for it. Many cry out in frustration "why are we always misunderstanding each other?" or "why won't he/she just listen to me?"
Sue is passionate about helping couples discover all the joys that a healthy relationship can have. Her life experience and background in farming giving a very practical approach to life and its problems. Sue has a gentle, commonsense, no-nonsense approach to relationship counselling which can be both refreshing and reassuring.
The counselling process whilst acknowledging that there maybe a lot of positive aspects to the current relationship, generally focuses on understanding and resolving the problems that are creating pain and frustration - that is after all what you are paying for!
In the first session a lot of questions may be asked in order to get to know you and what you are dealing with. It is useful to know what specific difficulties you are having and your understanding on why they seem to occur. It is definitely OK and indeed normal, for each of you to have a different perspective on this. It is useful to regularly summarise and discuss goals and options for moving forward so that everyone is on the same page.
Our goal at Kiwisense is that you will receive insight into the principles and dynamics that operate within relationships together with skills to overcome misunderstandings, develop trust and improve communication. The more you can take on what was discussed during a session, practice it or think about it, the more you are likely to get out of each session. Equipped with understanding, skills and ideas to bring life and fun into relationships, couples can move forward to enjoy their partners rather than endure them!
Counselling is usually conducted with both partners but individual sessions with each partner may sometimes be offered to explore any significant past issues or problems that are currently affecting the relationship.
The number of counselling sessions required varies between couples - some find significant progress after just one or two sessions whilst others prefer several.
Common Issues Encountered in Relationship Counselling
If you require help for a relationship problem or simply want more information make contact now.
Sue is passionate about helping couples discover all the joys that a healthy relationship can have. Her life experience and background in farming giving a very practical approach to life and its problems. Sue has a gentle, commonsense, no-nonsense approach to relationship counselling which can be both refreshing and reassuring.
The counselling process whilst acknowledging that there maybe a lot of positive aspects to the current relationship, generally focuses on understanding and resolving the problems that are creating pain and frustration - that is after all what you are paying for!
In the first session a lot of questions may be asked in order to get to know you and what you are dealing with. It is useful to know what specific difficulties you are having and your understanding on why they seem to occur. It is definitely OK and indeed normal, for each of you to have a different perspective on this. It is useful to regularly summarise and discuss goals and options for moving forward so that everyone is on the same page.
Our goal at Kiwisense is that you will receive insight into the principles and dynamics that operate within relationships together with skills to overcome misunderstandings, develop trust and improve communication. The more you can take on what was discussed during a session, practice it or think about it, the more you are likely to get out of each session. Equipped with understanding, skills and ideas to bring life and fun into relationships, couples can move forward to enjoy their partners rather than endure them!
Counselling is usually conducted with both partners but individual sessions with each partner may sometimes be offered to explore any significant past issues or problems that are currently affecting the relationship.
The number of counselling sessions required varies between couples - some find significant progress after just one or two sessions whilst others prefer several.
Common Issues Encountered in Relationship Counselling
- Communication - misunderstandings
- Conflict - especially over differences
- Work/Life/Family balance
- Lack of negotiation skills
- Trust
- Recovery from affairs
- Wider family influences
- Expectations
- Sexual issues
If you require help for a relationship problem or simply want more information make contact now.
Kiwisense Philosophy on Relationships
In most cases, it is not necessary to leave the relationship to get out of the pain and frustration that the problems are causing. With the right guidance at the right time, relationships can be enjoyed rather than endured.
Kiwisense counselling also has a strong emphasis on education. Just as gravity works on us whether we are aware of it or not, so do fundamental principles of relationships. While actions may speak louder than words, failure to understand the relationship dynamics and fundamental differences in people often results in misunderstanding our partner’s intentions.
Relationships have a natural equilibrium with each partner contributing in their own way to maintaining the balance. If one partner changes in some way, the relationship cannot stay the same. Because of this principle,a certain amount of progress can be made even if only one person is willing to attend counselling.
While Sue’s first choice would be to resolve the issues within the relationship, there are situations where continuing the relationship would not be a realistic option. In those situations, counselling can create an environment where honesty can finally emerge and the two individuals be helped to discover the reasons why the relationship was unsuccessful. Without this understanding, future relationships have a high risk of repeating the same mistakes.
Strongly influenced by the thinking of David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage) and David Riddell (Living Wisdom), Sue believes that relationships are a valuable part of an individual’s journey towards mental and emotional maturity and balance. Developing a deep trusting relationship with a life partner can provide the confidence and support to handle any crisis or event that life may present.
We are initially attracted to someone who exhibits the undeveloped part of ourselves resulting in the impression of finding our other half; with the two individuals making up the whole (the two shall become one). At some stage the differences that once were attractive become a problem and we end up pushing each others’ buttons. After being attracted to the very best in the other, we call out the very worst. The usual miss-assumption is that because my partner originally made me happy, it is their fault that I am now unhappy and if they changed, I would not have a problem. The situation is often interpreted as we are now not suited and I must have chosen the wrong person.
My belief is that the relationship is doing its job by both revealing the undeveloped parts of ourselves and providing the environment for growth. This would have happened eventually, regardless of who we were in relationship with. It can be an invitation to re-engage the maturing process as an individual that was begun as a child but will inevitably have become stalled at some point. When an individual can get to the place of asking the question of “what was my part in creating the situation we are now in?” then each can begin to move from being part of the problem to being part of the solution.
In most cases, it is not necessary to leave the relationship to get out of the pain and frustration that the problems are causing. With the right guidance at the right time, relationships can be enjoyed rather than endured.
Kiwisense counselling also has a strong emphasis on education. Just as gravity works on us whether we are aware of it or not, so do fundamental principles of relationships. While actions may speak louder than words, failure to understand the relationship dynamics and fundamental differences in people often results in misunderstanding our partner’s intentions.
Relationships have a natural equilibrium with each partner contributing in their own way to maintaining the balance. If one partner changes in some way, the relationship cannot stay the same. Because of this principle,a certain amount of progress can be made even if only one person is willing to attend counselling.
While Sue’s first choice would be to resolve the issues within the relationship, there are situations where continuing the relationship would not be a realistic option. In those situations, counselling can create an environment where honesty can finally emerge and the two individuals be helped to discover the reasons why the relationship was unsuccessful. Without this understanding, future relationships have a high risk of repeating the same mistakes.
Strongly influenced by the thinking of David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage) and David Riddell (Living Wisdom), Sue believes that relationships are a valuable part of an individual’s journey towards mental and emotional maturity and balance. Developing a deep trusting relationship with a life partner can provide the confidence and support to handle any crisis or event that life may present.
We are initially attracted to someone who exhibits the undeveloped part of ourselves resulting in the impression of finding our other half; with the two individuals making up the whole (the two shall become one). At some stage the differences that once were attractive become a problem and we end up pushing each others’ buttons. After being attracted to the very best in the other, we call out the very worst. The usual miss-assumption is that because my partner originally made me happy, it is their fault that I am now unhappy and if they changed, I would not have a problem. The situation is often interpreted as we are now not suited and I must have chosen the wrong person.
My belief is that the relationship is doing its job by both revealing the undeveloped parts of ourselves and providing the environment for growth. This would have happened eventually, regardless of who we were in relationship with. It can be an invitation to re-engage the maturing process as an individual that was begun as a child but will inevitably have become stalled at some point. When an individual can get to the place of asking the question of “what was my part in creating the situation we are now in?” then each can begin to move from being part of the problem to being part of the solution.