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How We Will Work With You

General | Your first contact | Free consultation | Fees | My commitments to you

Frequently Asked Questions

• How do I know if I am with the right counsellor for me?
• Am I committed to more sessions?
• Is it better to see us both together or can I come on my own?
• What do I do if my partner does not want to come to counselling?
• Are we eligible for the free Family Court Counselling?
• Will I be “undone” during counselling?
• Do you work with people of other cultures?

General

You will receive reassurance, hope and practical strategies to enable you to achieve the changes you wish to make. Allan is adept at identifying and revealing the different ways that people process and interact. Through understanding these differences and the behavior patterns that result, you will gain assurance of who you are and how you function and be able to move towards seeing and using your partner’s differences as complimentary to your own to make positive long term changes.

Allan has a particular ability to relate to men. His life experiences in the workforce enable him to earn their trust and speak their language. Allan uses this understanding of being a male to educate men about themselves and female perspective in a way that is not threatening. (Read testimonials)

A strong component of Allan’s personality, which emerges regularly in counselling sessions, is his sense of humour. While clients are usually warned about its potential to appear, it occasionally still surprises some people. His natural compassion, sensitivity and respect for the pain of others are balanced by his belief that counselling can and should have an element of fun.  

Your First Contact

Your first contact may be with Allan or Sue. Our aim is to reply to enquiries within 24 hours or sooner if possible. You will appreciate that during sessions with clients the answer phone will be activated out of respect for that client. You can be assured that the messages will only be accessed by Allan or Sue.

Free Consultation

It is important for you to find the right person to help you with your situation. We offer a free 15 minute consultation by phone or in person at the office.

This is a particularly helpful option if your partner is reluctant to attend counselling or coaching because it gives them a chance to meet Allan without any obligation or commitment to further sessions.

After hearing the issues that you are currently facing, we discuss which of our services may be the most suited to your needs and whether there may be are other agencies or specialists better equipped to help you. It is important to understand that this is not a counselling session but an opportunity to get to know each other and the nature of the issues to be worked with.

You are welcome to bring a friend or support person to this or any subsequent session.

Fees (all prices include GST)

 

My Commitments To You

1. I will make available to you, the benefit of my training and counselling experience along with the understandings gained from my personal life experiences to help you find your own solutions to the issues you face. I will not however, dishonour you by taking on the responsibility for fixing you, your problems, or the people in your life.
2. Provide confidentiality within the limits detailed in the NZAC Code of Ethics.
3. To the best of my ability, I will protect our sessions from being interrupted.
4. Regularly examine my own practice through supervision and self-reflection with the aim of maintaining a high standard of service.
5. Have your best interests as the guiding principle of my practice.
6. I will suggest to you, referral to another counsellor or other professional if I consider that there may be someone else who is more able to help you with your particular issue.
7. I will postpone your appointment if I believe that for personal reasons I am unable to provide the standard of service that you deserve.
8. I am a full member of NZAC and work under the NZAC Code of Ethics.
9. I will endeavour to be on time and expect the same courtesy from you.

FAQ

Q) How do I know who would be the right counsellor for me to see?

A) Counsellors are all different. They have had different life experiences, different training and have different personalities. The first session should be one of investigating whether this particular counsellor is the best person to be working with you for this problem at this time. The counsellor, using their professional judgement and experience, should also be making an assessment on their suitability to be working with you.

We suggest three questions that you should be considering by the end of the first meeting with any counsellor.

1. Do I believe that this counsellor has understood the situation that I am in?
   The answer to this question will give you an indication as to whether you have been listened to effectively.
2. Have I built some level of trust in this counsellor’s ability to help me with the problems I have at the moment?
   This will help determine whether the skills that the counsellor has and the strategies that they have to offer so far have been realistic, and show that they have some understanding of my life and environment. Are they on the same planet?
3. Can I be honest with them and would they welcome me telling them that I would rather see someone else?
   The answer to this question will give you a sign whether you have connected with the counsellor.

Q) Am I committed to more sessions?

A) No. It is your choice whether you continue counselling.


Q) Is it better to see us both together or can I come on my own?

A) If both partners are able to make it at least for the first session, often faster progress can be made, as the counsellor is able to observe the dynamics operating within the relationship. At the end of that session, the options of continuing together or having individual sessions will be discussed, and the future direction of counselling negotiated.


Q) What do I do if my partner does not want to come to counselling?

A) Relationships are a living entity and respond to changes. Even if one partner in the relationship seeks help, positive change can result.


Q) Are we eligible for the free Family Court Counselling?

A) The Family Court will fund counselling for couples wishing to work on their relationship or to help couples who have separated to work out parenting issues. Most couples are eligible for the first six sessions each year. (Find out more)


Q) Will I be “undone” during counselling?

A) The fear of being “undone” is very real for some people, particularly for those who still must function as a parent or at work after they leave the counselling room. While some counsellors go looking for “buried pain” with the idea that getting it out will help the client feel much better. It is not my policy to practice in this way.

It is my belief that we all have the ability to lock emotional things away when we do not have the support or resources to deal with the intense feelings at the time. I regard this function as a safety mechanism that is designed to enable us to continue with daily life and its commitments. I believe that there is the potential to re-traumatise someone if these feelings are brought out prematurely and therefore will not seek to “undo” any client.

When the time is right, the support and understanding is present and sufficient trust has been built with the counsellor, the intense feelings will emerge of their own accord and the client will experience them not as being “undone” but as an enormous sense of relief and freedom.


Q) Do you work with people of other cultures?

A) Allan has in previously worked successfully with people from Zimbabwe, Uruguay, South Africa, India, Fiji, Germany and Holland. He is sensitive to religious and cultural differences and the impact that those differences have on peoples’ expectations of their relationships.